Five Month Update x Mommy Thoughts

Now that I’m a mom, I constantly have this internal battle with myself regarding the massive changes with this new lifestyle of motherhood. It sickens me whenever I hear other parents say to those who have no kids that they shouldn’t have any kids period, as if their a curse from God. No bueno! I find myself having to remind my baby’s father about our great gift whenever friends ask us how we’re doing. Like, no, you don’t get to complain unless you were the one bearing the pains of birth!

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But I get so confused and upset sometimes because I want to complete my to do list on a daily basis. I’ve got some easy tasks and others that are a pain in the ass, like figuring out how to back up all your electronics (Sheeshh, as tech gets more sophisticated it also seems to be more complicated… or maybe I’m out of touch).

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But I get so confused and upset sometimes because I want to complete my to do list on a daily basis. I’ve got some easy tasks and others that are a pain in the ass, like figuring out how to back up all your electronics (Sheeshh, as tech gets more sophisticated it also seems to be more complicated… or maybe I’m out of touch).

The battle starts with the idea of being constantly present, in the moment with my baby girl. Watching like a hawk for the small details of her development, physical changes and guiding her to understand what’s around her… yet, I have other personal important things to do, goals to accomplish and dreams to fulfill.

Now that I’m a mom, its so ironic to me how I’m more sure and confident about my career and life and what type of action to take… how convenient. It doesn’t help either that I have this constant feeling like theirs a shelf life for my plans and that times being wasting by me choosing to pay attention to my daughters daily activities rather then my own. Then again, I argue, who is she if not the value I place on myself… ultimately, it’s a tug between who’s more important: my daughters development or the future me?…

Maybe its because Isabella’s my first baby that I’m feeling this way, but I haven’t heard many moms talking about this feeling or even express it. I’m literally learning as I go and trying to document it so I can share it with others, but if your a mom and have felt this feeling before, let me know in the comments below! How did you adjust? Did you find a helpful hand from family or did you have to buy it?

Thank you so much for checking out my blog, if you want to check out my socials, they’ll be listed below. Have a blessed day!

white fur coat from Macy’s: onesie from First Impressions: pink headband from Babies R Us: doggy shoes from H&M: black jumper from Aerie

Socials: instagram @rozalyndamoxie | snapchat @rozalyndamoxie

WTF x Hair?!

WTF IS IT SO HARD TO GET IT RIGHT?

I feel like I can never get it right and the only time that I’ve actually felt at ease with a hair style was when I took my ol’ clippers and did the job myself. I only committed to the task because I was too broke at the time to get something professionally done.

When its time for me to get a new cut or a trim, I end up trying out a new hair dresser. I’d usually never go back to the same person twice simply because I’d leave their chair unsatisfied about either the service or their technique. It seems like an endless cycle of disappointment with empty pocket books and its been going on for far too long now, I’m truly aiming to commit now.

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I’d remember seeing the smiles on the hair stylists face as they’d hand me their big mirror to check out the back view of my head. I’d be all smiles also, at first glance, for the sheer fact that the deed was done and I knew I no longer had to worry about my damaged ends. Then as I’d linger on the reflection, I’d start to wander into the “what if’s”. What if I tried something else? What if this hair stylist took the extra step to suggest something that’s trendy? Do they even know whats flattering to my face shape (which is by far the most important)? I have a round face and I’ve come to accept that it won’t change no matter the workout techniques or diets and sadly, the haircut options for round faces aren’t so exciting.

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In the end, I know it all comes down to confidence! How happy are you with what yo mama gave you, right? Its just frustrating to seek someone to entrust with the task of determining the changes of your future looks. If we’re taking that initiative to enhance our day to day life by wanting an amazing hair cut, then shouldn’t it be easy to just pick a person to be like a personal hair magician.

I know, this is more of a rant then a real research analysis lol but this is all coming from the experience of going to a new hair salon around my new apartment. I usually don’t go to predominantly Dominican hair salons, but I wanted to test it out regardless. I showed the hair stylist a beautiful Pinterest picture of the type of cut I wanted and she promised me she’ll try her best…

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The haircut she gave me feels like it’s missing a few steps (truth be told, I think she was on her way out to lunch and wanted to just squeeze me in beforehand). The fundamentals seem right with just a few missed chopped off strands. When she handed me the mirror to check out the back, like the many hair dressers before her, I immediately became distracted by my hideous copperish highlights. Like wow, that really looks like a middle schooler did my hair and they might as well have (don’t DIY  highlights ladies, thats what I tried to do 😖). Overall, the back looked fine and at first, I was genuinely excited about the front look with a new set of bangs. I started seeing the potential and all the ways to play  with them.

But the weeks to follow, I lost the pleasure of having them and mostly because the weather become so unbearably hot. As I caught glimpses of myself inside store mirrors or walking by storefronts, I’d started noticing how much of a mom I was starting to look like with this type of hair cut style. Theres nothing wrong with being a mom, I just felt older then what I am and if I wasn’t rocking a mom look, I looked like I was wearing a 15th century wig… so my current situation isn’t so flattering.

So currently  I’m on the hunt again for another hair salon with a hair stylist that I can truly commit to and feel comfortable being honest with. Thats all a girls asking for 😇. Wish me luck lol

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*illustrations found on pinterest*