First Birthday Recap Video x January Thoughts

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Its been one hectic start of the new year because this January is extra special. The reason for that is because it is my daughters first birthday, she’s officially turning one years old and it marks a huge milestone for our little family. We have gone through plenty of sleepless nights, some not even due to our daughters needs but from us worrying about our personal finances, lack of job opportunities and that dreaded feeling of helplessness brought by a loss of identity. Although, caring for our baby girl wasn’t as tough as we had in mind, in fact, is was quiet manageable. Those moments where we had to put her to sleep (and keep her asleep) were the most relaxing because it allowed a joyful momentary sense of relief from our worries and concerns. What has truly been tough, is finding a way to get over the uncertainty of our finances. My fiance and I went through some time where we continually questioned who we are because we were stuck in a runt! what should we be doing to change the coarse of our future and what are we missing that we just can’t fully grasp?

It was one long and difficult 2017 but what was consistent was our faith. Our faith become like our backbone whenever we felt like we were stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I am beyond grateful that tomorrow will honestly be the start of a new beginning for us because my fianc√© will start his new full time job as an apprentice, but he has high hopes that he could move up within the company. He mentioned to me that he made a great impression with his (future) employers and they all¬†unanimously agreed they wanted to hire him. When I heard the details, I wasn’t surprised, his a great guy and with natural genuine charisma. On the other hand, although I’ve held a part time flexible job throughout the year, it doesn’t pay well. Going forward, I’m going to be applying to different jobs and my only condition is to work from home. I often say that I’ll hire a babysitter, but I’m very weary of someone else watching my daughter, even with my own family.

Anyways, heres a recap of photographs and an awesome video I edited together of our daughters first birthday celebration. I hope you enjoy and let me know in the comments below what you think about the video and my semi botched edited lol. Until next time lovelies!

ps. in the next couple of months I’m planning to change the appearances of my blog so stayed tuned for that!

Five Month Update x Mommy Thoughts

Now that I’m a mom, I constantly have this internal battle with myself regarding the massive changes with this new lifestyle of motherhood. It sickens me whenever I hear other parents say to those who have no kids that they shouldn’t have any kids period, as if their a curse from God. No bueno! I find myself having to remind my baby’s father about our great gift whenever friends ask us how we’re doing. Like, no, you don’t get to complain unless you were the one bearing the pains of birth!

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But I get so confused and upset sometimes because I want to complete my to do list on a daily basis. I’ve got some easy tasks and others that are a pain in the ass, like figuring out how to back up all your electronics (Sheeshh, as tech gets more sophisticated it also seems to be more complicated… or maybe I’m out of touch).

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But I get so confused and upset sometimes because I want to complete my to do list on a daily basis. I’ve got some easy tasks and others that are a pain in the ass, like figuring out how to back up all your electronics (Sheeshh, as tech gets more sophisticated it also seems to be more complicated… or maybe I’m out of touch).

The battle starts with the idea of being constantly present, in the moment with my baby girl. Watching like a hawk for the small details of her development, physical changes and guiding her to understand what’s around her… yet, I have other personal important things to do, goals to accomplish and dreams to fulfill.

Now that I’m a mom, its so ironic to me how I’m more sure and confident about my career and life and what type of action to take… how convenient. It doesn’t help either that I have this constant feeling like theirs a shelf life for my plans and that times being wasting by me choosing to pay attention to my daughters daily activities rather then my own. Then again, I argue, who is she if not the value I place on myself… ultimately, it’s a tug between who’s more important: my daughters development or the future me?…

Maybe its because Isabella’s my first baby that I’m feeling this way, but I haven’t heard many moms talking about this feeling or even express it. I’m literally learning as I go and trying to document it so I can share it with others, but if your a mom and have felt this feeling before, let me know in the comments below! How did you adjust? Did you find a helpful hand from family or did you have to buy it?

Thank you so much for checking out my blog, if you want to check out my socials, they’ll be listed below. Have a blessed day!

white fur coat from Macy’s: onesie from First Impressions: pink headband from Babies R Us: doggy shoes from H&M: black jumper from Aerie

Socials: instagram @rozalyndamoxie | snapchat @rozalyndamoxie

The New Normal: Motherhood

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This year couldn’t have started out on a more exciting yet terrifying note. once a major milestones achieved almost always another one soon follows, whether its positive or negative in my life. Sometimes those drastic changes feel almost like a piano falling on your head because it feels unpredictable and unexpected.

Motherhood, something I definitely wasn’t planning for going into 2016. It’s been a mix of many emotions and I don’t just blame it on the soup of extra hormones that charged through my body during pregnancy. I’m officially a mother and what does that mean besides the extra daunting and exciting times that will soon follow from this tremendous life change for my daughter and myself, only time can tell. The best thing I can do is to create a balance of being actively present in the moment, especially for those memorable little moments. While, simultaneously, looking out for what the potential future might hold for myself and what it’ll mean to my new family.

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It’s so incredible how every women is so completely different and yet the things that resonate with one another are the same things that make us stronger. I’m sure I’m going to have many more lessons and failures as I’m adjusting to this new life change and I hope that you’ll follow along with me in this journey. Thanks for reading && until next time, have a blessed day!

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