Book of The Month x L’art de la Simplicite by Dominique Loreau x Lifestyle Changes

For this month I’m picking something that’ll teach me about a new lifestyle attitude. This new lifestyle change is guided by L’Art De La Simplicite: How to Live More with Less by Dominique Loreau.

I found this book while searching the aisles of the public library and once I noticed the title, I wanted to take it home right away. I didn’t believe books about minimalist living were even written so I got really excited once I saw the book. Lately, I’ve been in the mood to change my beliefs and attitudes about my current lifestyle. I understand that its not going to happen overnight but I just want to know more about what it would feel like to become a person who desires less compared to excess. Plus, I loved the cover and how cute yet simple the font and overall look was.

From reading this book, I want to learn how to stop wanting more things that aren’t going to make a huge impact in my future and embrace living with less. Its hard to manage not wanting to have the most latest thing or having something for a sake of convenience simply because you can afford it. Since becoming a mom, I’ve had to let go of my full time job and find something part time which drastically cut what I was used to spending. Now that I have to adjust for bill payments, eating healthy, saving and the needs of a growing baby takes a toll financially. I know that this time and these moments will pass and eventually my small family will be in a different position in the future because we have a lot of faith in the actions were taking now, but I’ve got to stay in check, daily, so all the bills are paid for on time. So I want to understand the tricks or attitudes that would place one to desire less and place that energy towards things will matter in the long run! Do you know what I mean?

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Authenticity & it’s four Attributes

During the first day of my internship training, there was a girl in my group who made it her mission to point out to me how “fake” she thought I was. She didn’t say it to me privately, instead, she timed it so everyone else in the group would hear her opinion of me by saying it out loud during one of our quick 10 minute breaks. The girl was not a stranger to me because we had started the same internship program from the very beginning. Her sudden hostility towards me was strange, super random and I was left confused for the remainder of that training day. I had no idea what I could have done to cause her to say that and I couldn’t recall ever being out of line or disrespectful towards her. In order to hide my embarrassment and try to be polite, I let out a nervous laugh because I was trying to brushed it off as if she were telling me an insider joke.

Thinking back to that moment, I was so naive to social cues and didn’t realize when someone was being out of line towards me. I let her continually name call me, although it really upset me yet I didn’t comment back or bother to ask her why she was doing it. Honestly, I thought that I was being the “bigger person” and tried to not let it show that it was affecting me! Needless to say, I kept a fair distance from her and would try to avoid situations where I had to have a conversation other then work. Part of me couldn’t tell the difference between a joke or if it was a direct personal attack and not knowing the difference made me feel insecure, especially when I was around her.

So before I get to my point, I want to share another more recent story of a male coworker who consistently had a snarky comeback whenever I would attempt a causal work conversation. His attitude and mannerisms towards me would feel boorish, meanwhile other coworkers would have nothing but praise for his helpfulness and goodness. I took his animosity personally because it felt like it was gradually getting more indifferent and hostile. Being around him was like walking on eggshells and I would purposely stay clear of his path (although it was really difficult because we all had to work in a tiny office). I wouldn’t ask him for anything or bother with advice and I dreaded being left alone with him whenever the other coworkers left the office during lunch breaks or for any other reason.

One work day I had decided that I had had enough of his toxic attitude and dished it right back to him, exactly how he would towards me. When I looked at his face, his eyes were a little wide and he had a bit of a smirk. He then said, “finally, she speaks for herself.” In that moment, I didn’t know what exactly he meant but after that one comeback, he started being friendlier. Shooting for conversations rather then building negative tension. It seemed like suddenly, this male co worker wanted to have a decent working relationship… go fucken figure.

What I failed to realize was that, ultimately, it didn’t matter what these people said or even how they behaved towards me. What was important was how I responded and handled those different personalities and how much I would let them affect me or influence me personally. If I would have been self-aware, I would have been able to pick up on those subtle shady cues a lot quicker rather then letting my personal feelings decipher what every interaction meant. Here are a list of a few traits I wish I would have learned earlier in life, a set of traits that wouldn’t have allowed for these scenarios to play out the way that they did.

1. self awareness

to have self-awareness is an advantage over those who do not have it or don’t even know what it means in the long term (ei. me). I believe that self awareness is a skill because it means that you understand and trust yourself without a doubt and can’t be easily swayed or influenced. Its a skill build on balancing confidence and vulnerability together although each trait can cancel each other out. It may sound easy, but this is a mindset that is difficult to master because your exposing yourself to the world around you and therefore potentially having others judge you harshly.

2. boldness

boldness is having the ability to be forward and intentional with whomever it may be about whatever you personally believe in. Sharing with them your specific interest without fearing that you won’t be accepted somehow because others might not agree with you. I feel like deep down we all want to get some kind of approval from those around us and maybe even more from people who may not even know us directly.

3. honesty

honesty, the key ingredient for authenticity because it flourishes when you stop lying about who you are and about who your pretending to become. There is nothing wrong about having aspirations of a future better you. But by humbling yourself to see where you are at that moment, where you are mentally and physically, starts the process of self reflection. A quick google search defines self reflection as meditation or serious thought about ones character, actions and motives. From my personal experiences, self reflection is one of the greatest gifts you can give your future self by taking a little bit of time to think about you. I know it sounds selfish but if your rebuilding, the first thing every good home needs is a solid foundation.

4. trust

by learning to trust your actions, your choices become more deliberate and thats helpful because there is no way for sure to know what the opportunity costs are of every option available since time and resources are always limited. Trust can go hand in hand with intuition or that “gut feeling” that we all experience from time to time. Figuring out a way to let go of the expectations from others around us jumpstarts the ways in which we learn to depend on ourself and ultimately trust oneself.

I feel like in our society, being talented isn’t enough anymore but whats important and valuable is being authentic because it allows others to connect with you on a personal level other than the work you produce. By connecting with you, it means they might like you and want to continue supporting you by watching your instagram stories or sharing your tweets. It all kind of comes full circle and with all the different options of connecting with people, your personality will be the dividing force between your work and everybody else.

Looking back, I would have responded differently…

ASOS Shopping Haul Video x Stress Management

Ugh.

I can’t even begin to express to you what I had to sacrifice in order to get this video edited and finished. Lots of dirty dishes pilled up, clutter pilled up like Mount Everest, a grumpy husband who had to be attentive to our baby  girl and certain level of stress that equals that of a college term paper due the following morning that hasn’t even been started yet lmfao. yea, you know what feeling I’m talking about…

When I was officially done with the video below, I started the process of exporting it to the Youtube 1080p setting. I decided to stop exporting it because I felt like something  was wrong since the time frame displayed on the progress window read “14 hours until file complete”. I kept thinking, “14 hours”, practically a whole day? that doesn’t make a lot of sense so I canceled the progress and as soon as I did, all my hard work had randomly disappeared…

I was shook, pissed, scared and annoyed! 

How could my MacBook betray me like this (I kept on thinking to myself) and how is it possible that this amazingly expensive video editing tool program thing deleted my work without having any trace of the completed file stashed away somewhere in my files? could this be the work of the illuminati? whom everyone knows keeps an eye on everyone especially on minorities? anyways, I digress and yes, I’m completely exaggerating (and joking! nothing but jokes here, I’m a real comedian lmfao)

In all honesty, I’m proud of myself for magically scouting out all of the missing files that made up the video and finally getting it exported to upload! I still had to spend some more time re-editing some scenes, but it wasn’t as bad as having to re do the whole darn thing! I’ve been trying to get better at creating content more frequently for my Youtube channel. I’m really trying to build my video editing skills so I can confidently update my LinkedIn profile. Its just a little difficult managing motherhood whilst learning something from scratch.

Which leads me to say that learning to manage your stress and/or intense emotions is also a life skill that many sadly never pay enough attention to. Finding out what works, when suddenly your emotions get so out of hand that it causes you to simply react instead of stopping and thinking is so valuable. Blessed are you if you are one to recognize that as useful and admirable skill to possess. Here are some tips, if you find yourself getting out of control with yourself:

  1. tell yourself its ok and that the moment will pass
  2. step away, step away, step away… you dont want to say or do something that you will regret in the long run
  3. vent to someone, tell someone what just happened and ,perhaps, they might help you sort through it with you.

I’ve listed just a few but by no means are these the only ones. Sometime in the near future, I’ll dive more into this topic in a full blog post. But for now, heres a video on my ASOS haul of knee high black boot shoes and ugly wedding dress options that didn’t look nice on me. Thanks for watching and let me know what you think of my editing skills below!

 

The Only Reason To Cook For Your Man x Brooklyn Wedding Recap Video

If your going out of your way to cook a warm hot dinner meal for him, he better be special.

If you find yourself buying new panties at Victoria Secret with the lace trim to put them on just so he can take them off, he better be special.

When you offer to buy Chinese food just to keep him around even though you two aren’t really talking but simply sitting on the couch netflixing and chilling or cable tv DVR’ing , he better be special.

My engagement ended February 3rd because I’m officially a wife to an awesome man who’s been my best friend for like seven years. The wedding was short and sweet but completely Brooklyn style! Which consists of us going to city hall with a cute dress, a bouquet, a few family members and someone who would take half decent shots of everything because the professional photography available was charging way to much for professional photographs lol.

Anyways, I hate the stereotypes that follows married life once a couple decides to tie the knot. Its like suddenly your a foreign being who stops living life because of marriage.

One day I’ll look back at this post and consider myself lucky for being so optimistic or maybe a fool. Whether a person is your life partner or your coworker working on the desk beside you, everyone;

  1. deserves respect because their story is as unique as yours
  2. can’t be changed by other people telling them that they need to change, unless they already want to change themselves
  3. should focus on themselves, be selfish about how your taking care of yourself mentally and physically because by putting yourself first, you’ll be in a better mindset to guide and help others

Finally, heres a recap video of my wedding day on February 3rd. The video quality sucks but its the only footage I have because, although my sister is smart as hell she’s no photographer. Not complaining here but in retrospective, I think I should have booked someone for that one hour. Well, you live and learn.

Anyways, heres my little special moment, brooklyn style lol

First Week of 2018 Thoughts & Resolutions

New Year’s Eve was small, cute and cheery. Our family stayed home since New York city has been experiencing some of the coldest temperatures in the city’s history and it didn’t help that we all had a bit of the whooping cough. So we stayed up until the ball dropped and even woke up our babygirl so she can feel the excitement of the new year since it is officially her first one.

For most of the New Year’s Eve day, I spend it planning, planning and more planning. I feel so much more confident overall and secure knowing that I’m not wasting my time because I have a better sense of what to anticipate next. I’ve grown to dislike spending time just pondering on what needs to be done next or wondering if I’m missing something. It such a annoying mental road block when your just sitting there confused about what to do with yourself or, on the other hand, when you have too many plans that it feels overwhelming. Unlike 2017, I’m planning on taking more control in all areas of my life throughout 2018. Here are some of my personal resolutions for 2018:

  1. Don’t overwhelm yourself. To much too fast, halts creativity & that’s no bueno if your trying to create content.
  2. Stop over eating! Portion control will be a waist saver or waist killer.
  3. Go to the gym more! Cause you know your booty is not going to build itself and like Elle Woods said, “endorphins make you happy” lol
  4. Patience will be your greatest gift to yourself and others. Embrace that shit! Lol
  5. Learn to simplify things. Not everything needs more than a day to complete.
  6. Grow a YouTube channel & learn what it means to add value to others.

I purposefully left my list short because each one can be broken down into smaller and more manageable tasks. I believe that resolutions should be goals that turn into habits. A skillful habit that will help guide you into your greater self.

I hope this post sparked some idea or thought that you’d like to further explore. Thanks for reading along and I hope you enjoy the pictures.

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You can catch up with me on instagram And twitter

Wet N Wild PhotoFocus x First Impressions Review

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Here was the agenda for the day…

Go to Manhattan to get drug tested for a new job
Go Northwest of Midtown for the DMV office
Go Southwest to visit campus to complete registration for this Fall
&& then to go back into Brooklyn to my parents house, to pick up my youngest autistic brother from the school bus…

ooh, my day wasn’t over just yet cause I needed to, then, go across town. To get back to my apartment and finally EAT!

Then once I got home, immediately start breastfeeding my babygirl cause engorgement is a mother f******.

All this had to be done in 80 degree weather, so I decided to wear some lightweight coverage because I wasn’t about to look like I just rolled out of bed…

My day was full of errands and just as I finished up the last touches of my coverage, I ended my routine with the Wet N Wild PhotoFocus Vaporisateur Setting Spray. I didn’t notice much of a scent, which is great because I hate having strong perfumes or smells around me (unless I actually put on perfume). The nozzle is not hard to push down and it doesn’t get stuck on itself as your fingers are pushing it down. From the many makeup Youtube videos I’ve seen, setting spray is key and should be one of the last steps to helping maintain all that effort you put to applying the makeup in the first place. This is a classic drugstore find and for the price point, you’ll likely find me hoarding this cause I’m a huge fan.

Throughout my agenda, I paid special attention to the overall appearance of my face which is more on the oily side and these are the things I noticed on my skin;

-my nose was not so oily even after power walking to catch the train with some of my nose contour still in place! I was really surprised by this little victory because my nose is usually the first thing that gets super oily.

-at noon, the temperature was at its highest and I started to get some sweat beads around my hairline but my eyebrows stayed the same as when I first left my house (hurray!) and

-by the time I got to my parents house, I felt super hot and humid. When I looked in the mirror, I was surprised to see that my skin still looked a bit airbrushed, except for my nose. The bit of oil on my skin looked a bit glowy also (as if I’d applied some highlighter) which was a very nice effect!

For the first time trying it out, I was really impressed by how long my coverage stayed on especially on such a challenging hot New York City day. To back up my experience and see how others felt once they put this to the test, I looked up a few Youtube videos to just see what others had experienced. Nathalie Marie Kay, a beauty Youtuber Creator, did an awesome comprehensive review of multiple drugstore and high end brand setting sprays. She felt that the Wet N Wild PhotoFocus was one of her top three choices (link of the video down below because its awesome) and she even compared it to the Urban Decay All Nighter Makeup Setting Spray.

Her review made me feel even more excited about this purchase because it was money well spend. Nothing gets me more disappointed then when something is overpriced and your not getting the quality that you expect for it. Especially to someone like me, who’s learning the effects of different products on my skin after pregnancy since my hormones have changed the texture of my skin.

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Thank you so much for checking out this review, I’ll try to post on a more consistent basis, but I get lazy and, honestly, sometimes uninspired. Thank you again and have a blessed day!

Link of Youtube Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJa9uWdMaNI&t=1004s

Statement Accessories for Boring Outfits

If you want to make a statement, add a bold accessory and voila! You’ve got an instant conversation piece. By focusing the entire outfit around that piece of accessory and making it the center piece, I’ll bet that you’ll instantly uplift your mood, attitude and overall confidence, why? because I’ve had those personal feelings. I’m not suggesting that you need to rely on a material object, nor vanity in order to boost self-confidence. But lets be honest about that feeling that sometimes creeps up within those five minutes as the alarm clock goes off and the days tasks dwell in your mind. Sometimes it can feel daunting or overwhelming and the desire to shut down for the day becomes so much more irresistible. But if you have something to look forward to, something that changes the rhythm of your day to boost up your energy and it can all get started by maybe not a new outfit but that one statement accessory… boost your appearance and in turn, boost up your attitude for the day!

Whether you like to indulge in fads or commit to more timeless classic pieces of accessories, the aftermath is the same, it’ll guide you through the day by making you look forward to make the day count even through the mundane.

These are five of the trendiest accessories which are also transferable for Fall to add in your wardrobe for a bit of fun!

 

Anklet

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Necklaces: Chokerschoker edit

 

Sunglasses: Tinted Glassestint edit

 

Sunglasses: Space Age shelds edit

 

Earrings: Over-sized

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Sunglasses: Polished Hoops

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Let me know in the comments below what you think are the best ones and which one your excited to try out for yourself! Thank you for reading along and have a blessed day!