Lovely, I’m congratulating myself. I’m congratulating myself because I finally landed an internship. The internship I’ve planned to get a few semesters ago and one of the main driving reasons that I decided to go back to earn my first bachelor’s degree. An internship I’ve been secretly afraid to land on account that: I’m terrified of messing up big time, my time was limited because of my toddler, and the risk of not being paid for the time I spend working. 

            It all happened suddenly and before the interview was over, I was agreeing to start later in the same week of my interview. I was surprised but glad that I didn’t have to wait until they let me know that I was accepted for the internship. But I was also aware that the company desperately needed people to start as soon as possible. 

            The position is to help the production department. Especially during the holiday season when they needed the assistance the most since majority of the fulltime employees were taking off for the holiday break. 

            This internship is giving me a good idea of what I’m more interested in and the type of environment or organization I would like to build my career from. Also, the added bonus of being paid for the days there, the oddly relaxed flexibility of hours and getting some most needed job experience in the process is a huge accomplishment for me. For the longest time, I didn’t believe in myself to realize I could make it happen for myself. I’m still fighting those thoughts about my own abilities and try to prove my own harsh self-critic wrong by showing that I actually can.   

            So far, I’m doing things I didn’t expect and that’s cause the company Is quite big and everyone has their set tasks and responsibilities. It’s interested to get a behind the scenes view of the hierarchy of an organization. But am I missing out on something else? am I lowering my capabilities to settle for just the first choice that crossed my path? Plus, did I really earn the position if the head manager was willing to accept anyone that crossed thier path? I’m still pondering over it…